Loving you

I don't claim to know everything or to have all the answers. I don't claim to be the most confident or to be without insecurities, but one thing I do know is that I have come to love and appreciate the person that I am. To appreciate how God made me. I have curly hair, I'm small busted with a round butt :-) For me that is ok...take it or leave. Now with that said, I would like to discuss something I've noticed in the hair world.

In the U.S I noticed a huge change in the way black women were wearing their hair. In times past the majority of black women you saw had a relaxer; wearing your hair in its natural state was not the thing to do. For whatever reason and surely I could list plenty, we as a whole were not raised to love and appreciate our hair. We weren't taught how to take care of it or how to manage it. Hearing names like nappy head, kinky (with the side eye expression) etc etc. Now keep in mind I'm generalizing because I WAS NOT RAISED THAT WAY AND I'VE NEVER HAD A RELAXER. When we were younger and all my friends started getting relaxers she chose to allow me to make that decision, when I was old enough that is and when that time came I noticed that I had the advantage, I could go swimming, climb a tree, run outside, and play all the sports in the world without the weight of "messing up my perm" being on my shoulders. So needless to say I chose the nappy look! Ha!

Now being here in Europe I've noticed almost every black woman has a weave/extensions. Let me be clear that I'm NOT against it! I have moments that I wake up with a "weave itch" and feel like having 16 inches of hair draping my shoulders as well although it's not that often :-) and I'm NOT against relaxers if your reason for wanting either or is in the "right place". But where does the need to have someone else hair sewn into your hair come from? Why is that kinky curly can't be pretty? What about hair that's spongy, or looks like carpet for that matter? It's all about what you make of it. It's as if self hate has been injected into our very bones by a very long time of being shown images of what beauty really is and those images ARE NOT reality. The reality of it is my hair is only straight when I use a flat iron. Most days my hair is curly, how God made it and that my friends is perfect. Whether your hair draws up when it's wet or lays on your back you are beautiful just the way God made you. Again I say, I like extensions and hair additions, but know that you don't need them in order to be pretty. Some of the most beautiful people in the world are bald! Heck my mom has one inch of hair on her head and I promise I've never seen a prettier face! (and no, I'm not just saying that because she's my mom) Learn to love you. Learn to value you. Learn to appreciate you. Here's a challenge for some of us. Stand in the mirror, fully disrobed with no make up...and simply look at yourself. If you see something you don't like (a baby pooch for example) start doing crunches...every day. Embrace your olive, red, yellow, and brown under tones. Tell yourself "I love you". Whether I know you or not, I wish you the healthiest most fulfilled life ever! God bless.